sigh

Why is it that I still want when I am so blessed? I look around at my family and friends, who could want anything more? I have the world's best family who are there for me no matter what. They care and love others so much. I have the best brother ever! He, if God decides I will marry, will make it very difficult to find a guy because he's just that awesome!
My friends have such amazing values and I am finally comfortable with who my friends are. I can be myself around them and they love me for who I am and don't think I am to crazy. Why is it that I need anything else? What am I looking for?

There's this hole inside of me that longs for a different kind of love. I feel lonely even when I am with amazing peeps. Sometimes I wish that God hadn't created a longing to be with someone special. It makes it so difficult to wait for the right one. How do you know if someone is the right one? I thought I knew but God has a better plan in mind. The other day I was thinking and a terrifying thought struck me. What if God has decided that His plan for me is to be single for the rest of my life?

Being a wife is what I've always dreamed of. Cooking, having little kids running around outdoors and filling a home with laughter, cleaning (yes for some odd reason I like it), and just everything that involves building a home. Decorating, painting, making a home beautiful and raising Godly children. Doing my best to be the women in Proverbs 31. What if God tells me no?

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3