Alison Krauss

So, this really started years ago when I found an Alison Krauss CD hidden away in my aunt's top dresser drawer that I was either cleaning or just meddling in. I took it, after asking, snuck it unto my room and then sat alone in my room listening for hours, playing the songs over and over. She was my first country singer favorite and really still is. This love of Alison Krauss survived my family's ridicule, so it is a true love. My mother questions if I was really born into the right family considering they all have a hissy fit when I turn country music on. Above all however my brother hates Alison Krauss and every time I turn her music on he starts baaing like a sheep because this is what he thinks she sounds like. She doesn't...

Last Saturday night, my step-dad Kenny took us all out for a surprise. He is incredibly secretive about his surprises and only my mom was aware of it. We drove downtown with anticipation, walked a couple of blocks and much to my surprise (my brother's horror), we stood in front of the Tivoli where Alison Krauss and Union Station were playing. Dream come true! I did however feel horrible for my poor brother who is very open minded about music but has stayed true to his hatred of Alison Krauss.

The concert was incredible! They played songs that I have known since I was little and every time I would hit mom and say "I love this song!" She sings a song that I want played at my wedding during our first dance called "When You Say Nothing At All." It was even more beautiful in person! She not only sings amazing but plays the fiddle like none other and I came away wanting to take up violin lessons. The best song of the night was a newer one and it will be at the bottom of the blog for your enjoyment.

I went from being ecstatic inside to looking over at my brother and feeling remorseful about my excitement. We also happened to be sitting next to a very diehard fan who would glare at those taking pictures, shake his head when my brother took out his phone and play all the tunes on his legs with his fingers while humming along. Needless to say, my brother couldn't even entertain himself with his cell phone. I think he ended up liking it by the end however and mom was hooked when Alison (first name basis) sang a religious song to end the concert. Listen to it, it's amazing as well and will be at the bottom of the blog too. It was an uber epic evening!!!

Here are just a few of my favorite songs!

April 5

I have this EGW devotional that I am not so good at reading consistently, but today I picked it up and flipped to today's date. It was totally what I needed to hear. Here it is. Hope you get as much out of it.

         "What said Christ to the Samaritan women at Jacob's well?... 'Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life' (John 4:13, 14).
          The water to which Christ referred was the revelation of His grace in His Word. His spirit, His teaching, His love is as a satisfying fountain to every soul. Every other source to which men resort proves unsatisfying; but the Word of truth is as cool streams, represented as the waters of Lebanon which are always satisfying. In Christ is fullness of joy forevermore. The pleasure and amusements of the world are never satisfying, or healing to the soul but Jesus says, 'Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life.'
        Christ's gracious presence in His Word ever speaks to the soul, representing Him as the well of living water to refresh the thirsting. It is our privilege to have a living, abiding Savior. He is the source of spiritual power in us, and His influence will flower forth in words and actions that will refresh all within the sphere of our influence, begetting in them desires and aspirations for strength and purity, for holiness and peace, for that joy which brings no sorrow with it. Such an experience will be the result of having Christ as an indwelling Savior.
     Jesus walked once a man on earth, His divinity clothed with humanity, a suffering, tempted man, beset with Satan's devices... Now He is at the right hand of God, He is in heaven as our Advocate, making intercession for us. We must always take comfort and hope as we think of this. He is thinking of those who are subject to temptations in this world. He thinks of us individually, and knows our every necessity. When tempted, just say, He cares for me, He makes interecession for me, He loves me, He has died for me. I will give myself unreservedly to Him.
       We grieve the heart of Christ when we go mourning over ourselves as though we were our own Savior. No; we must commit the keeping of our souls to God as unto a faithful Creator. He ever lives to make intercession for the tried, temped ones. Open your heart to the bright beams of the Sun of Righteousness, and let not one breath of doubt, one word of unbelief, escape your lips, lest you sow the seeds of doubt. There are rich blessings for us; let us grasp them by faith, I entreat you to have courage in the Lord. Divine strength is ours, and let us talk courage and strength and faith."

Waiting

        I think that possibly the most difficult thing in my life is waiting. It's something that God is always drilling into me. Wait, wait, wait... In the past I have looked at waiting in a different view. Waiting on God to bring me the right person. I've always looked at those waiting verses in that way, maybe because it was my focus. Finding the right person and settling down. Something hit me today as I was reading Isaiah 64:4 which says,

      "Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."

        It was such a beautiful passage and as I was sitting on my bed I realized my focus has slowly switched. I am no longer waiting for the right person but I think I am waiting for God. Not the effects of what God can give me if I follow Him, like a husband or success, but truly just waiting for Him to make something beautiful of my life. I want so desperately to have a life of meaning not just an existence filled with what I said in my last post, the "American dream." I am living it but am not satisfied with it. It's a live of taking for yourself and not reaching out to others. This must change. I can live in a shack for all I care but I just want to be satisfied with my life knowing that I am where God wants me.  To have a relationship with God that nothing can shake. More than anything I want it and I want to want it more. I have to learn to look for what God is teaching me in the waiting times of my life and be satisfied with where He has put me at this moment. I see Him leading vaguely, through a veil, and I must cling to this vision regardless of where the meandering, learning path of God's will takes me.

"When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait His time." Oswald Chambers

"The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them they would be too many to declare." Psalm 40:5

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

"We are calling out in the thick of the war, I am standing down to fight for something more." Humanity- Tim Be Told

A Mother's Perspective

Floundering... That's what I feel like I am doing presently. On the outside and to everyone else it may seem that I am living the so called "American Dream." I have a good, steady job, I am single without a lot of money going out except to pay off loans, my family is supportive, I have tons of friends, and yet with all of this I am still searching... It's exhausting to try to fill the black hole of the soul.

I am frustrated with my lukewarm attitude about my relationship with God. I either want to leave the church entirely or have a relationship with God that separates me from the world. I am so tired of fitting in with the worlds standards and still pretending to have God. You can't tell a difference between most Adventists and everyone else. I feel that I am turning into what I have always fought against. I want to want God. I want to feel Him near. I must fight, refusing to give up because He has never given up on me.

I didn't realize what my frustration with life surrounded until talking to my mom the other day as the tears trickled down my cheeks. What is it about mother's that brings so much clarity to life? She said something that will stay with me to the day I die, "Alex, you will never be satisfied with the American way of life, with a husband who works a normal job, who provides enough money for a house where you raise a family, live on a little country street and have a typical American life. I know you, YOU will never be satisfied with the American Dream. Some people may be satisfied but you will not."

This reality took a little bit to sink in but I realized that my mother has read me correctly.

Tough Mudder

Notice the oblivious happy smiles

For some reason I had this bright idea that doing a tough mudder was a good plan. Ahad invited me and since my brother rejected me it became a reality with the handing over of more than one hundred green papers to the Tough Mudder peeps. Since Ahad, Chris and Ron were unable to get any other girls stupid enough to do the race, I was stuck with three boys... which really is not as bad as one would think.

The training process begun but ended soon after due to the fact that my mother's wedding is taking up much of my time. For some reason not being in the greatest shape was of little concern and only about 15 minutes before the race started did I begin to regret this very important aspect of the race... the ability to actually do it.

It just happened to be the coldest it has been in a very long time... A sunny but 25 degree morning when we started the race. Armed with spandex and two GoPro cameras we set off not knowing quite what to expect but we quickly found out. The first obstacle was military crawling under barbed wire, next was jumping into a tank of ice water. Chris banged his head on a chunk of ice coming out from under the water. Seriously, it made you realize you have never been in cold water before. Your lungs felt like they were collapsing and you couldn't breathe for a while. Climbing hay bales, inclined monkey bars (failure on my part), knee deep mud, logs to carry, 11 miles to run, getting over a half pipe, walking over water on 1 inch boards, a 15 foot jump into water and a electric shock to run through just to give you something to look forward to at the end.

Now notice the exhausted, yet "tough" looks of triumph
on our faces. Yes sir we beat it!

 Surprisingly the pain, torn up legs, exhaustion, mud, frigid temperatures were all worth it. Though it may have been stupid, it was probably one of the greatest things I've ever done. Thanks boys for all the encouragement, help and amazing friendship that you guys have given me. Best teammates ever! 

Mom and Kenny

February 19, 2012

That Guy

"Me on the other hand I can write somebody off
Like the last check for a student loan
I can love when it's convenient
But it's not always convenient
It's not always the easy road
I want to look past the outside to the well-meaning heart
To the good they forgot that they had
Teach me to love, teach me to love
Teach me to love like that."