Over the past few months, I have realized how incredibly close God can be. I have no doubt of what a caring and amazing God we serve. I have gone through most of my life just trusting that God was there, by my side, being my silent protector and savior. Losing my Dad was seriously the hardest thing that I have ever gone through but God was so close. I knew that He was there not only with Dad through his pain and confusion, but that He literally was there every time my sorrow became to great to handle, every time I cried.
For the longest time I always wondered how Solomon could say that, "The day of death is better than the day of birth." I understand now. In my Dad's case, the fight has been won and his is suffering over. I have never been so completely crushed and yet so relieved at the same time that death came when it did. Nothing can explain how awful it is seeing someone you love slowly slip away, becoming so helpless. I am a fixer and I couldn't fix it. Nothing... but just sit there watching. Death is, in a way, the most merciful thing that God has ever created. Though dad didn't get his wish to live to my wedding, I can see God's perfect timing throughout the past few months. He truly is an incredible God.
Dad won the battle, Satan lost, God triumphed. Heaven cannot come soon enough! I miss dad so much.
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